R-Rating (Shattered Dreams, Broken Hopes)

[simchambers]

Who: Shiro Hawthorne ( simchambers ) & Lelouch vi Britannia ( exiledpowers )
What: A mission left a certain pilot in distraught over everything he's been through so far, and a man decided to fix that.
Where: Wherever their homebase is.
When: Night-time.
Warning: Triggery, Adultery (?), Brainwash.


DAMMIT!
[There's the bang of a fist against the wall.

He lost somebody on the field again, just like that time, and that time. Is he doomed to forever be the cause of the deaths of his comrades? He knew that with a war like this, lives will be falling left and right.

So why.

Why can't he just keep the ones he care about alive? Why did they have to die?]

I hate it. I hate them, I hate this feeling!

Comments

[exiledpower]

[ If by fix it you mean, in all likelihood, make it worse, then yes, Lelouch will fix it. Lelouch enters Shiro's room uninvited, Zero's mask of course snugly in place, as always. Though his expression would've been unreadable even without it, chilly, analytical. ]

So this is where you ran off to.

[simchambers]

Zero.

[There's not even a second wasted before Lelouch could find himself being grabbed by the collar. (Finally something that's useful about that guy outfit of his).]

Why.

[WHY DID YOU LEAVE HIS FRIEND TO HIS DEATH, WHY DID YOU ORDER HIM TO MAKE A SACRIFICE.]

[exiledpower]

[ Lelouch doesn't even respond to the aggressive gesture. Given his less than scrupulous methods of achieving victory on the battlefield, he's quite accustomed to this reaction by now.

The mask is as cold and opaque as ever when it stares into Shiro's face, the slender body motionless in his grip. ]

Why else? Because it was necessary.

[simchambers]

Necessary. NECESSARY!?

[He knows of the notion of sacrifice dammit, but sending him to die pointlessly like that was...!]

It's only necessary if we only have that as our only ticket to get out of there!

[exiledpower]

[ A humorless sort of chuckle. ]

Such sentimentality. It's touching—compassion, love—when it's put to good use.

But sometimes difficult decisions must be made. And I made one today.

[simchambers]

SHUT UP!

[There's just going to be a punch directed at the mask, it's hard, but not really enough to shatter.]

You're the one that's just sitting on your high-horse back there, what do you know about that anyways!?

[exiledpower]

[ The mask is harder than it looks, but Lelouch's head jerks to the side regardless, and he can definitely feel a bruise forming on his jaw. Still, he remains calm, even if he's simmering inside from the blow. ]

Gawain is best suited for a supportive position, on the sidelines. You're aware of this already, aren't you? It wouldn't be prudent for the commander to charge recklessly into battle. That would risk everything.

[ He's not sure why he's even bothering to explain. Shiro had never been the brightest pilot on board, after all, but he's still a valuable pawn in his own right. Just another piece on Lelouch's board that's needed to overthrow Britannia. ]

[simchambers]

[The words stung. It was enough for him to let Lelouch go, at the very least.]

The Gawain's Hadron Cannon would've been enough to finish it off!

[While that was partly true, that action could've caused a lot more compromise to the mission.]

At this point I wonder what the hell was in their head when they picked you as our tactical leader.

[exiledpower]

At considerable risk to our own allies, yes.

[ Grateful to be on solid ground again, he smooths out the rumples in his collar. ]

And I must confess to wondering to what's in yours as well, Shiro. You're a soldier. While death is a regrettable thing, [ that I'd cause as much of as necessary ] it's an inseparable part of the job description. You shouldn't have enlisted if you weren't prepared for the possible consequences.

[simchambers]

I enlisted in hopes of ending this fucking conflict, not going through our own allies as if they're just useless pawns!

[In fact, that's us in your head, isn't it, Zero!?]

[exiledpower]

[ Lelouch just grins, though there's nothing in his even tone to give it away. ]

I've no idea what you're talking about.

[ He then turns to leave, swiveling on a graceful heel. ]

But in the the future, I would advise reining yourself in. Doubt and hesitation are contagious diseases, and if they spread to everyone else, the entire operation is jeopardized.

[simchambers]

Tell me one thing, though.

[There was silence for a second before he continued.]

Why do you hide your true self from everyone? Was it because of your identity?

Or do you feel repulsed by your own self?

[exiledpower]

[ A pause. ]

"Because beneath this mask is more than a person; it's an ideal."

Or do you not believe that anymore?

[simchambers]

How could you believe in an ideal when the ideal itself is shrouded within the fog of lies?

[He's calmed down somewhat, composure slowly returning as his reason begins to return once more.]

[exiledpower]

[ Oh, good. Because Lelouch's is starting to crack. ]

Are you calling me a liar, Shiro Hawthorne?

[simchambers]

And more.

[He hasn't made any motion to continue his speech, but at the end of that phrase, there's a nod.]

[exiledpower]

[ The laugh that follows this time is considerably more deranged than before. ]

Do elaborate, if you wouldn't mind.

[simchambers]

Lies. That is your existence, isn't it? Deceiving everyone of us no matter where you go, hiding behind a facade of a good leader, one who does sound tactical decision, and who makes sacrifices whenever necessary.

Who knows what you're thinking inside, as the mask is perfect, isn't it? A mask beneath a mask to hide one's true identity, your current personality crafted, your face, crafted. Everything about the Man of Miracles, Zero, is all but a mere fabrication created by the man inside the mask.

[There's not a smirk nor a smile, just a plain neutral face as he states this, as if emulating Zero's unchanging face that he showed towards everyone.]

[exiledpower]

[ He knows too much.

The door to Shiro's room hisses shut. Lelouch doesn't move. ]

Is that all?

[simchambers]

That's it for now.

[There's a small pause as a small thought process completed itself in his head. Ah, there was something that nagged him in the back of his mind, when he thinks of it, isn't it?

How did Zero come to exist? Who was the man behind Zero?

Those questions linked itself to the small fact that he had observed when the Black Knights first landed in White Chalice. That's right, a civilian that happened to be caught in the crossfire joined the crew. Who decided to stay despite the dangerous foes they save and his lack of power.

...

Of course, a theory is a theory, and the only way to confirm it is.]

Lelouch.

[To face it head on, no matter the consequences.]

[exiledpower]

[ So perhaps not as dumb as he'd suspected. Interesting, though he wasn't the first to put two and two together; the few who had, he'd already taken care of. And now, another to add to the pile of mindless slaves...

Again, Lelouch's response is minimal, just the pointed edge of Zero's mask sliding over his shoulder, turning towards Shiro.

Quietly: ]

You're right, you know.

[simchambers]

[Something's wrong. The mood of the room suddenly turned even colder than it was before, the air between the two of them, once frayed by their argument earlier on, turned into fragments of ice that pierced through him.

This coldness...

Neither stepping forward nor backward, Shiro drew his gun from his holster, and unlocked the safety and pointed it at Zero, no. Lelouch.]

Just what the hell are you planning?

[exiledpower]

You won't shoot. Even you know better than to murder a colleague.

[ Lelouch sounds completely confident of this as he begins advancing on Shiro with slow, steady steps, cape billowing behind him. ]

Can't you guess? You've already done such a marvelous job piecing the facts together, the conclusion could only be obvious...

[simchambers]

[A cold piercing feeling stabbed through him. Something bad's really going to happen unless he knocks or kills Lelouch.

...Dammit, he's right, he fundamentally couldn't kill him. He has to, but he couldn't-

So he smiles and doesn't plead for his life, but rather, just state what he assumes isa the truth of the situation.]

You're getting rid of me, huh?

[exiledpower]

[ Shiro can hide his fear all he wants, but Lelouch knows better. He can smell it on him. That's what wolves did; they followed the scent of blood to its source, surrounded their prey when it was at its weakest, and with claws and fangs extended... subsequently tore it to shreds and devoured it bit by gory bit.

And that's exactly what Lelouch intends to do here, because a quick, painless end is too kind, and Lelouch is too cruel to stifle the ever present urge to play with his food until it can no longer fight back, drained of strength and entirely absent of will. ]

Why would I do something so foolish? Why would I waste a life that holds so much promise, so much value?

[ Lelouch stops a few inches away, reaches up to the bottom of his mask, tugs at it sharply. ]

But while you're right regarding my identity, there is a detail you touched upon earlier that is far more pressing, far more important...

[ A mass of brown hair falls away from the mask, a delicate face revealed that bears a demonic curse glowing in its left socket, the unmistakable mark of Geass. ]

...and that is that I am the most repulsive monster you will ever met.

[simchambers]

[While it's true his fear can't be masked, he still continued staring at Lelouch. That eye- It's not human, break eye contact, shut up shut up shut up don't look at it!- that ethereal glow, that cursed eye... He... has to break eye-contact but he couldn't as he was transfixed to it, as if someone awed and terrified of one thing at the same time.]

...Aaah, you're not going to kill me. No, you're going to just play with me until I'm more of a broken existence than I am now, huh?

[A feral smirk appeared on his face, the smell of fear still perpetuates the air, inside, he was screaming internally as he faced this monster of a man.

...H...elp......]

[exiledpower]

That's correct.

[ A smile that would've been beautiful had it not belonged to the mouth of a hideous liar unfurls, and Lelouch whispers the words that will seal Shiro's fate, grazing glove-tipped fingers along his jaw. ]

So if you wouldn't mind, Shiro Hawthorne, I'd like you to listen now.

Lelouch vi Britannia commands you—forget my true face, forget my true name, and heed my every order from this day forward without question.

[simchambers]

Wh-

[He couldn't finish the sentence as pain gripped his head.

THOUGHT PROCESS INTERRUPTED: PROCEEDING WITH COMMAND no no no stop it stop it stop it don't follow the command no please no do not kill my sense of self, damn you lelouch lelouch lelouch lel... who is lelouch? who is he? is he someone? do I know him? what the hell am I doing no stop don't f...o...llow... h...i...m...

...There was silence as his eyes glazed, and a red ring formed around it, a tell-tall sign that the curse had worked as he bowed. His own self gone.]

As you wish, Your Highness.